Rhetorical Question

[5siamese7]

I think the worse thing would be if you were on your deathbed and dying from terminal cancer had no family to make sure you had the best pain control.

[sweet caroline]

https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/dutch ... five-years
http://www.euthanasia.com/page18.html
SC

[glenshena]

I have no doubt in my mind at taking this step, what I am still undecided about is whether to be cremated or buried. I am terrified of fire, and dont like the idea of being burnt. No-one in my family has been cremated. But I dont like the idea of my family feeling obliged to go to the cemetary with flowers. They all lead such busy lives.

[morag]

[quote="glenshena"]I have no doubt in my mind at taking this step, what I am still undecided about is whether to be cremated or buried. I am terrified of fire, and dont like the idea of being burnt. No-one in my family has been cremated. But I dont like the idea of my family feeling obliged to go to the cemetary with flowers. They all lead such busy lives.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

[Catherine Belle]

I have no doubt in my mind at taking this step, what I am still undecided about is whether to be cremated or buried. I am terrified of fire, and dont like the idea of being burnt. No-one in my family has been cremated. But I dont like the idea of my family feeling obliged to go to the cemetary with flowers. They all lead such busy lives.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Nice one , Morag. BUT, I still visit my son's grave every week and leave fresh flowers in a little cone thing that can be filled with water. It gives me great pleasure when I come back each week to see all the fresh flowers with the tops eaten and the stems scattered. ...means that wild life has visited his grave and that makes me glad. He was a great outdoors man who loved all creatures and I'm glad my flowers invite "visitors" to his resting place..

[morag]

I have no doubt in my mind at taking this step, what I am still undecided about is whether to be cremated or buried. I am terrified of fire, and dont like the idea of being burnt. No-one in my family has been cremated. But I dont like the idea of my family feeling obliged to go to the cemetary with flowers. They all lead such busy lives.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep - Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Nice one , Morag. BUT, I still visit my son's grave every week and leave fresh flowers in a little cone thing that can be filled with water. It gives me great pleasure when I come back each week to see all the fresh flowers with the tops eaten and the stems scattered. ...means that wild life has visited his grave and that makes me glad. He was a great outdoors man who loved all creatures and I'm glad my flowers invite "visitors" to his resting place..

I'm sorry for your loss Catherine and glad you get some solace. It's not easy.

[Retsum]

I find it a very difficult question to answer. Viewed from my present position of reasonable good health, I have no idea how I would respond to a degenerative terminal condition. Yet I suppose that is just when we should be planning. I would hope to either have a massive heart attack or a massive stroke, either of which would take me out instantly. However if forced to think about a slower, terminal condition then I would favour JD's solution but it is not available in Scotland in spite of Margo MacDonald's efforts in the Scottish parliament. I believe that the chief justice (or whatever the correct title is) in England has said they would be unlikely to prosecute a close friend or family member who assisted someone who was terminally ill, to die. But I don't think that applies in Scotland either. So I am left to my own devices.

Both my mother and father were taken out by dementia. With my mother it was vascular dementia and she went quickly after her 90th. birthday. I remember telling her then that she would need to wait another 10 yrs. to get a card from the Queen. Her response was that she had had enough. With my father it was Alzheimer's and it took much longer before he went at 95. Now if he had had the sort of programme JD has set up, he would not have been in a condition to invoke it. So would we, the family, have triggered it? I just don't know if I could. My father used to say that if he ever went 'ga-ga' we should "hit me oan the heid wi' a hammer."

[morag]

It is a difficult question. My husband always said if he lost it physically or mentally he'd shoot himself or I should shoot him. Unfortunately I lost him when he was 52. ...and we didnae have guns

[glenshena]

My mother,God Bless, always said if you have lost it mentally you're better away. She eventually spent her last three years in a care home as her family were all living away from Scotland. Her last six months were pitiful, she was just a vegetable lying in bed, more or less unconcious, due also probably to the drugs she was being administered. When she was well she said she didnt want to get buried because no-one would come and visit her grave but how can you think of cremating your much loved mother. Much too final and irrespectful of what she has been to us, her family,. We have a third option where I live, apart from burial and cremation we can be put in cement vaults, which takes the fear out of being buried in the ground. It's important to get the persons wishes while they are still able to make a decision.

[morag]

I've told my kids dump me at sea or up in the hills, I'll feed some creatures and not me a big mournful heap.
I've not been to my husband's grave in ages, don't know if my kids do, but he's every minute in my thoughts as are my parents, etc.

[sweet caroline]

As the poem says "Do not stand at my grave and weep". My husband died 10 years ago and buried 10 years last Sunday. I don't visit the grave ,never have. My view is that he would be walking down beside me.


SC

[morag]

As the poem says "Do not stand at my grave and weep". My husband died 10 years ago and buried 10 years last Sunday. I don't visit the grave ,never have. My view is that he would be walking down beside me.


SC

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